6 Months Into Marriage

For my readers - my apologies for such a break in postings. Between work, the holidays and a rescue mission, more work and some bad weather... life just reached up and reminded me that at least I had one.

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It's nearing on a year since Robert and I progressed our relationship to the "yeah -this is serious" and marriage talks. Further beyond that, come Valentines day, it's been 7 years that he and I have known each other - since we started down this road called "friendship". Today marked 6 months since I met him in front of our preacher and we both said "I do". Mind you - he said it twice but that's another story for another time. It feels like it was just yesterday and at the same time, it feels like such a long time ago.

Through the years together, we've agreed wholeheartedly on some things, had similar feelings, strongly disagreed and compromised. If I agree or disagree it's okay with him one way or another. Sometimes I think he likes it better when I disagree because then the debate begins. We both have a history wtih debate from school (for him) and work (for me). So while at times, it gets silly at least we talk. And I could listen to him talk all day and not be annoyed by the sound of it and he doesn't mind when I get too tired and I shift from regular speech to Deaf-speak.

I think that's what I like best about being married to my best friend - the conversations we have. Not to mention the fact that I'm allowed to still be me. Yes, he's asked me to broaden my horizon, to take on new challenges, try new things, revisit some old things I'd left behind and most of all - to relearn how to trust those nearest to me.

While it may sting some of my family who may read this; the fact is, I lived with a degree (sometimes small and sometimes LARGE) of fear - every day - from waking until passing out in exhaustion, until I moved to Bryan, Tx in the fall of 06. Growing up, most kids find safety and comfort in being in their room -being in my room, in my own bed, was never a promise of safety. Fear of it being a bad day and that every little thing would be wrong or just not good enough. Fear of the next hit - because I'd pissed someone off or another just hurt so bad, they had to get it out somehow. Fear of being touched, because I never knew if it was going to stay platonic or warp into something very wrong.

Yet, through all that, I'm still a cuddle bug, I still adore hugs whenever I can get them. It's my own way of making new happy, non-traumatic memories. My point is that I don't live with that kind of fear anymore. It's not something I think about or have to worry about with Robert- he doesn't scare me.

I guess what I've learned in these short six months is that I'm finally safe and loved and that it's okay to disagree, compromise, cry and be happy.

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So here is my conclusion - my 3 positive things and a negative in a positive light as it relates to being married 6 months.
1+. I'm married to my best friend
2+. I'm safe with him
3+. I'm happy with our life
-1+. It took us seven years to get to this point, but that means we have an AMAZING foundation to build up on.