Wednesday, December 19, 2007

No Regrets - it's the little things that really count

It seems like this has been the year for ups, downs, sideways and diagonals even. There has been the entire gambit of emotion and as the calendar year draws closer to an end, I sit and wonder ... did I make the most of the time I had this year?

When I think about Stephen and Robert; the times I've had with them and with my still-kinda-new-Taylor-family. . . I can honestly say I have a few regrets. I didn't spend as much time with them as I thought I had and wanted to. Maybe it's just the meloncholy-ness of today that's making me look back and feel that dreaded word "regret".

On the up side, there is SO much that I did do. Robert and I took our son so many different and new places that if I were to list them here... well after 10 minutes you'd get bored and stop reading. We did little things with him that to hear him tell "was SO cool". The most recent being he has his very own ornament on the tree. Nothing too crazy, just a Spidey ball... but he knows it's his - he knows it's to mark our first Christmas - and it was an "early-christmas" gift. Stephen, like me it seems, is all about the little things.

Stephen goes back and forth on wanting his hair to just lay down like normal and be "spikey". Last week he wanted it spiked so Rob spiked it and sent him off to school. It took less than 30 seconds from start to finish to out the door. To hear Stephen tell it, Dad lifted each strand of hair so that it came out just right. It was the time spent, the smiles traded in the mirror and the 'I love you, son' on the way out the door that made it perfect.

So, I guess what I have to remind myself, whenever I start going "we didn't do this, we should have done that, Oh- I wanted to go there" and the ever popular, "dang, we wanted to see that while it was still on the big screen"... I need to just shut up and look at the list of things we did.

We hug Stephen and each other lots of times every day.

We say "I love you" before we say "see ya later" or "bye".

We say "I'm sorry" when it's needed and sometimes when it just feels right.

We get Stephen books and then read them to him. (he likes it best when dad reads)

As far as Christmas goes and all the moving about... we got that covered - Grandma KNOWS Santa. He was in her shop and Stephen got to meet him AND Mrs. Claus. [they got ready for the parade there and Grandma is the best and hooked us up! Ergo, (in Stephen's mind anyway) he's getting everything he's asked us AND Santa for Even though we moved just before Christmas, it's okay... Grandma will make sure Santa knows which house to take the presents to. We are not blowing too much smoke up the Santa Suit though, most of his gifts are coming from us or his GodFather, friends, grandparents, Aunts and "my other family" [as he's dubbed close friends like the ones we are staying with for the holidays].

One of the Santa gifts is a Skateboard. Wait, don't freak out over this idea, you have to keep reading. Now, being as Stephen is only six... Robert and I both looked at each other and went "I don't EVEN think so"... envisioning many scrapes, bruises and broken bones. Then we talked about it... and talked to a spikey-haired-dimple-flashing-puppy-dog-eyed-how-can-you-say-no-Stephen.

"Okay spike, here's the thing: you are kinda short on one end, I dress you funny according to Granddad and even Ken [who's 4 and his best friend] outweighs you by 15 pounds. You don't like tall places and you want to scoot around on a fat little stick with wheels? I really feel scared about buying you a skateboard. It's going to have to wait until you are at least 8, sound good?"
Now, my son has been taking private lessons from dad called 'in-your-face-can't-argue-with-it-logic"... I thought my logic sounded good.

I was wrong. SO very wrong. *sigh* dang it!

Stephen's logic was better. "But Mom, Grandma knows Santa, so, he can bring me one since it scares you." And off he went - confident in Grandma's connections.

So much for that whole "tell your kids the reasons you are saying no". BAH! HUMBUG! It just gives them ammo to shot your reasoning full of holes. Now we're FUBAR because we can't let Grandma's cool status drop by having Santa not come through with the board. There's no way in the world I'm buying him a full on skateboard. Nu uh. Nopety, nope, NO. Okay then, what about one of those smaller ones, made for the little kids? Still doesn't solve the whole 'shattered bones' concern we have given how small and fragile he is. Then it hits me and the big lightbulb over my head comes on.

LOOP HOLE! We will have Santa come through for him. Yup! Just Santa will do it MY WAY! We plunked down almost ten dollars for the coolest FINGER skateboard we could find. It got wrapped in the special red-santa-wrapping-paper. Rob and I look at each other and grin, the worst he can do with that board is ... no! No, don't even think about it.

I have to say though, Stephen's been pretty down to earth on his Christmas list. There was only about 5... no 7 things on it. We, being the over-indulgent-it's his first Christmas-parents... we got WAY more than six things for him. Just in case you are wondering...

Stephen's Chirstmas list:
A red bike - got it -Thanks Grammy and Granddaddy!
The 3rd Pirates movie - got it - way to go us!
A red remote control Truck - got it - Thanks to the GodFather {Tenney}!
The Meet the Robinsons movie - got it - Thanks Shaina!
A soft/warm blanket like moms' - got it - Thanks Grandma and Granddad!
The 5th Harry Potter movie - got it - way to go us - Santa's getting the credit.
and a skateboard - got it -Santa comes through 'cuz Grandma knows him.


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