Never Enough Thank Yous

I recently got an email from one of the bravest women that I know and in my fields, that's saying a lot. This is a woman who's making the choice to give myself and my husband something we can't have on our own - a child.

As an adoptee myself, even with the rough spots with my mom and the annoying brothers and hateful cousins, a father who worked sooooo hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table... I can honestly say - I never had any doubts as a child that I wasn't wanted or loved. Not only had this couple wanted a child - they went so far as to take in someone elses and make it their own. Let me tell you - environment DOES make a difference - I'm lefthanded like my Daddy, need glasses like both momma and Daddy, I love a good meal, and at times, I say things that should only come out of Daddy's mouth. (if you haven't figured it out yet - even with all the working he did - I consider myself a Daddy's girl. Mom was always my friend growing up so she's in a different slot in my heart).

So... I know what it's like as an adoptee... but to become and adoptive parent... the awe of it has suddenly hit me. It's become a very real - set in stone (soon to be in legal paper) thing.

*begin rabbit chase*
And my dear husband, bless his heart, he's been so reserved since we started seriously talking with this amazing lady and her current husband in January... afraid to love too much ... afraid to get hurt and with upcoming events, that barrier of protection is coming down, bit by bit.

Let's take this into consideration - for the last five and a half years, my husband works in a Customer Service call center for a BIG cell phone corp... he spends 8-9-10 hours a day on the phone listening to people just RIP into him for things that he has no control over and experiences himself (since we have that cell service too)... so he kinda has this dislike of phone conversations. I can't say that I blame him too much. He and I had an online and phone relationship for several years - which caused him to talk on the phone even more. He did this because he loves me. -grins-

He will out of the blue and at 'our hearts' request call and chatter for a few minutes to thirty. [which is an amazing amount of phone time for a soon to be six year old] without getting itchy. Matter of fact - most times when he gets off the phone - he's grinning or laughing or both. He's taken to carrying a photo of 'our heart' in his wallet and will take it out and show it to people who ask about whats going on, or that he counts as important in our life.

[at least it's not a mid-birth photo as one woman at work has been showing people... I'm sorry... I don't want my coworkers seeing THAT much of me - NO thank you!]
*end rabbit chase*

So... how does one thank someone who is helping you to have a child? I've been trying for seven years to get pregnant and STAY pregnant... I've had three miscarriages thus far. And Robert and I have been trying since last Ja... July... No full term luck so far.

Someone asked me once what it felt like to be given away... with a cheeky smiled I said "GREAT - at least I know my parents really wanted me." Yeah - I was nasty to that lil person. I was in 5th grade I want to say and some lil prissy girl had pissed me off. She didn't really know what to say to that. I wasn't "Given Away" per se... I was GIVEN A BETTER CHANCE/LIFE.

So... for Linda Kay Green and William Eugene Cyphers - though you will never read this (Linda died many years ago and just a gut feeling I have about William that he won't be stumbling across my blog) thank you for giving me a better chance... a better life - you made the right choice for me.

For momma and Daddy - thanks for wanting me as much as you did and making me family.

For the mother of 'our heart'... thank you for giving us an opportunity at a fuller (more stressed -come on mom's out there - you know that it's stressfull) happier and bigger family. Thank you for giving 'our heart' to a family that will spoil him rotten [he will not smell that way though], grandparents that will ooo and ahhh over the first grandkid, other grandparents that will spoil from a distance, great grandparents who will love on him too and an Aunt that will always be a free tutor and is a great player of Marco/ Polo - especially in wal-mart.

And to God, to whom, I can never say "thank you" to enough.