Late Night at Work

It feels like the main time that I post is Sunday. That could be because I've gotten lazy about getting on the computer during the week. I check my email at a glance and if it's not my family, I don't bother with it. If I'm online, it's probably in WoW. I have, however, been writing every once in a while - with pen on paper. It's refreshing to get it out.

This has been a disturbing weekend with events happening too close to my own past, to someone small I know and care for and I can finally admit it to myself (and will to Robert too) that it's been fraking with my head. I've been closed off and bitchy and so close to tears the last 50 hours that I just want to hole up somewhere and hide. But I don't. I put on a happy-everything-is-fine-but-it's-not-face and pretend that I don't hurt, that I don't know, that I'm not haunted. I can't stop trembling and I don't want to eat and I'd like nothing better than to get a bottle and have enough shots to quiet my thoughts. But I won't. I won't let me and Robert won't let me either, for that matter.