Friday, March 30, 2007

Rain... Rain...

Most of the time whenever I think of rain, I hear the tune "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day" but that is not the case today. Today I'm thinking "how refreshing". We needed the rain. It's been too dry here in Oklahoma lately. The little ponds are filling up and over flowing, the ground is drenched and muddy, the puddles are rippling and inviting little feet (and big feet too) to jump on in and splash away.

I remember a rain storm once, in the summer of 82 I want to say. It was just coming down in buckets and for some reason, pawpaw and I were sitting on his porch swing. There were no words that needed to be said between us, no need to fill the silence with small talk - he and I could just sit and swing and watch the cloud cry and bless the crops and the earth with water. I long for those slow days, of just sitting and swinging and not having to say a word - just watching the rain fall.

Fast forward about 25 years to today. I'm working this afternoon and yeh! the laptop at work is opperational again, and it's alternating between pouring and just steadily raining. The yard has that wet-green smell about it that makes you want to dress a tad lighter just so that you have an excuse to curl up under the covers. I did that yesterday though - so today is not the day for it.

Yesterday was a bittersweet day. My mother-in-law (mom) held an auction at her embroidery shop. In her words - she was selling off 12 years of her life a stack at a time. It was sad, but Robert and I were there for her. The high points in the day was when she was introducing me (and Robert) to some of her friends who came to buy and to just offer support... and she shared with them that she was a grandparent to be to a 6yr old. She would light up and the horrible mind-numbing pain of that day was gone, if only for a second. It rained yesterday too. It feels like it's been raining non-stop since we had Stephen with us.

I'm counting down the days (in my own head) until the end of the school year and we can go and get him. I just can't wait. I know that Mom and Dad (in laws) are the same way, they are anxious and excited at being grandparents. Robert and I are too. We have several irons in the fire (or balls in the air- as he says) and we are just hoping we can juggle them all instead of them dropping at the wrong moment.

My charge is stiring so I need to close this for now.

Friday, March 23, 2007

In Need of a Caption

I need a cute caption for this photograph of Stephen taken at the Aquarium in Houston this past Spring Break. I'm putting together a kind of scrapbook photobook for his grandparents to be and I need some fresh ideas.


Thursday, March 22, 2007

Spur of the Moment Dinner Party and Proof of a Proud Dad

As usual on the weekends right now, I work long days and into the late evening, as does Robert. Since his "lunch hour" falls around 9pm, and lasts for a scant hour, this leaves our choices rather slim. Not to mention, that the small town we live in rolls up its sidewalks about an hour before said lunch hour.

Tonight however, us and our friends must have been on the same vibe. It was Arby's time! Before Robert, I had to be seriously bribed to go into this place, much less eat there. I will admit though, I love their sweet tea and the Cherry Turnovers. If you haven't had either one, I suggest you go to your nearest store's freezer section and buy a box of turnovers. They really are that good.

Our friends Erik, Austin and Misty were there as well. Erik shares my love of cherry turnovers (luv ya CM) and we enjoyed the spur of the moment dinner party. Misty and Austin are expecting and Erik is like a loving older brother if not somewhat of a mentor to Robert and to myself. In all honesty, I think he's thought of in that regard by most of our friends, we all adore him greatly and I've spoke of him before as "the old man" or "CM".

In general conversation it was asked, "how's your kid doing?" It hit me then, this adoption of Stephen is very real. I knew it was, but it was yet another small confirmation that it was. I smiled and we spoke of our trip as Robert stopped eating and pulled out his wallet, showing off, in proud fatherly-fashion, a picture of Stephen from last November that was sent to us. It made me stop in my tracks and smile at this wonderful man that I am married to.

It's the little things that mean the most to me, as many who know me can attest to, and that little thing, him smiling, stopping what he was doing, to proudly show off his "son"... I couldn't be more proud of my husband.

That was the telling event of today that I wanted to share. And now, with his mom's blessing and ours too, of course, a picture of Robert and I with Stephen when we got to spend a week with him over Spring Break in Texas with our family and friends.

Be sure to check my photoblog site for more cuteness.

Angie, Stephen and Robert

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Purrrfect Cat for Heather

Wow - what will they think of next? Any of you Yahoo'ers may have seen this image on the front page.
Toyger - toy tiger - cat. At full grown - 10 pounds with the tell tale or is that tail stripes of a tiger with the white circles around the eyes. Heck it even moves, stalks and hunts like one of it's bigger mirror images. Not made from actual tiger dna, the breeder hopes that as the litters go on along with the next three years that the tiger look will be perfected.

Here's the video clip . I have to say; if not for the price tag $800 -$4000 for just one, I'd be getting her one... but my gosh- thats an insane amount for a "designer cat".

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Our Official First Step

There is a moment
when everything just clicks
and shifts into hyperfocus
you see how it is
how it could be
and how it was
what to do next
and how to proceed
you take that first step
and amazingly
the ground does not crumble
rather it's firm and warm
with a pulse all it's own
steadfast and unmoving
Choose this moment
to stand up for yourself
and the things you believe in
remembering that the greatest journey
always starts with a first step

- - - - - -
for us in our adoption process that first step will happen on 3/13/07 - please keep all of us in prayer and good thoughts.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Never Enough Thank Yous

I recently got an email from one of the bravest women that I know and in my fields, that's saying a lot. This is a woman who's making the choice to give myself and my husband something we can't have on our own - a child.

As an adoptee myself, even with the rough spots with my mom and the annoying brothers and hateful cousins, a father who worked sooooo hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table... I can honestly say - I never had any doubts as a child that I wasn't wanted or loved. Not only had this couple wanted a child - they went so far as to take in someone elses and make it their own. Let me tell you - environment DOES make a difference - I'm lefthanded like my Daddy, need glasses like both momma and Daddy, I love a good meal, and at times, I say things that should only come out of Daddy's mouth. (if you haven't figured it out yet - even with all the working he did - I consider myself a Daddy's girl. Mom was always my friend growing up so she's in a different slot in my heart).

So... I know what it's like as an adoptee... but to become and adoptive parent... the awe of it has suddenly hit me. It's become a very real - set in stone (soon to be in legal paper) thing.

*begin rabbit chase*
And my dear husband, bless his heart, he's been so reserved since we started seriously talking with this amazing lady and her current husband in January... afraid to love too much ... afraid to get hurt and with upcoming events, that barrier of protection is coming down, bit by bit.

Let's take this into consideration - for the last five and a half years, my husband works in a Customer Service call center for a BIG cell phone corp... he spends 8-9-10 hours a day on the phone listening to people just RIP into him for things that he has no control over and experiences himself (since we have that cell service too)... so he kinda has this dislike of phone conversations. I can't say that I blame him too much. He and I had an online and phone relationship for several years - which caused him to talk on the phone even more. He did this because he loves me. -grins-

He will out of the blue and at 'our hearts' request call and chatter for a few minutes to thirty. [which is an amazing amount of phone time for a soon to be six year old] without getting itchy. Matter of fact - most times when he gets off the phone - he's grinning or laughing or both. He's taken to carrying a photo of 'our heart' in his wallet and will take it out and show it to people who ask about whats going on, or that he counts as important in our life.

[at least it's not a mid-birth photo as one woman at work has been showing people... I'm sorry... I don't want my coworkers seeing THAT much of me - NO thank you!]
*end rabbit chase*

So... how does one thank someone who is helping you to have a child? I've been trying for seven years to get pregnant and STAY pregnant... I've had three miscarriages thus far. And Robert and I have been trying since last Ja... July... No full term luck so far.

Someone asked me once what it felt like to be given away... with a cheeky smiled I said "GREAT - at least I know my parents really wanted me." Yeah - I was nasty to that lil person. I was in 5th grade I want to say and some lil prissy girl had pissed me off. She didn't really know what to say to that. I wasn't "Given Away" per se... I was GIVEN A BETTER CHANCE/LIFE.

So... for Linda Kay Green and William Eugene Cyphers - though you will never read this (Linda died many years ago and just a gut feeling I have about William that he won't be stumbling across my blog) thank you for giving me a better chance... a better life - you made the right choice for me.

For momma and Daddy - thanks for wanting me as much as you did and making me family.

For the mother of 'our heart'... thank you for giving us an opportunity at a fuller (more stressed -come on mom's out there - you know that it's stressfull) happier and bigger family. Thank you for giving 'our heart' to a family that will spoil him rotten [he will not smell that way though], grandparents that will ooo and ahhh over the first grandkid, other grandparents that will spoil from a distance, great grandparents who will love on him too and an Aunt that will always be a free tutor and is a great player of Marco/ Polo - especially in wal-mart.

And to God, to whom, I can never say "thank you" to enough.