Tuesday, January 30, 2007

FUNNY - but true

ZEN SARCASM and more

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Pretty much, just leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles often begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before the dawn. So, if you are going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, they won´t promote you.

5. At times it feels as though no-one truly hears you.... until you break wind.

6.You are unique, just like everybody else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. If you think that nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of rent payments.

9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Plus the fish are safe.

12. If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember as much.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experiences, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

15. The one sure way to double your money is to fold it in half.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like "The Force". It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with nimrods. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. "Experience" is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Always take the opportunity to shut yer pie hole.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

23. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take things too seriously.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Need To and Want To

I desperately need to clean my house this week (monday and tuesday when I'm off work) but I want to just lay in bed, sleep, eat donuts with Maggie, play WoW with Robert and try not to worry about anything and medicate my migraine back to hell where it belongs.

I mean, come on... when is enough "effin" enough? {the use of effin - all your fault Princess Misty}

Is it too much to ask for a day withOUT feeling like my eyeballs are going to throb out of my head?

I need to stop bitching.

I need to be greatful I can feel the throbbing.

I want my head to STOP hurting.

I want a nap.

I want to feel more. content with what I can do.

I need to remember that part of being able to tie my own shoes, takes practice, just like it used to when I was shorter.

did I mention I want a nap?
at this point, I think I might need one too.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

scattered thoughts

I'm sitting at work, next to the window in the rocker where I always sit currently watching the wind blow the dead leaves around my boss' yard and listening to the video of Ani DiFranco that I have recently posted onto MySpace - it's not my favorite song of hers but I love the energy and vocal ability she shows. I've posted about Ani before so I won't revisit how I came to know her.

Never the less, no matter the mood I'm in, she makes my toe tap. Right now I'm on the fence between miffed and past the point of caring. Work stuff and I'll leave it at that.

I thought I had plenty of words to fill this white space, but I find now that I've got the page up and open... my mind has too many impartial thoughts.
J's dr appointment week after next
S's surgery in three weeks
Valentines day 2007
7 years since I met my husband for the first time
its 4 years since I ran away from my ex-abusive-husband
friends left behind through the years
new friends made now that I'm here
Hishin the fire mage
painting at the dining room table
sewing on the new machine that mom gave me for Christmas
listening to Rob read to me
watching LWord on the sofa with Maggie the cat
remembering the time Rob and I got to spend with Stephen
walls down
kissing my husband before work and when he comes home

Sunday, January 21, 2007


The past week it's been cold and icey - finally yesterday and today it's been really melting. It was nice enough outside to have a kitlet wash my car and not feel bad about it.

I updated my MySpace recently and it reminded me that I hadn't blogged in two weeks. Way too long - but better than a month.

I really don't know what to say at the moment. Perhaps I'll think of something later.

Friday, January 12, 2007

6 Months Into Marriage

For my readers - my apologies for such a break in postings. Between work, the holidays and a rescue mission, more work and some bad weather... life just reached up and reminded me that at least I had one.


It's nearing on a year since Robert and I progressed our relationship to the "yeah -this is serious" and marriage talks. Further beyond that, come Valentines day, it's been 7 years that he and I have known each other - since we started down this road called "friendship". Today marked 6 months since I met him in front of our preacher and we both said "I do". Mind you - he said it twice but that's another story for another time. It feels like it was just yesterday and at the same time, it feels like such a long time ago.

Through the years together, we've agreed wholeheartedly on some things, had similar feelings, strongly disagreed and compromised. If I agree or disagree it's okay with him one way or another. Sometimes I think he likes it better when I disagree because then the debate begins. We both have a history wtih debate from school (for him) and work (for me). So while at times, it gets silly at least we talk. And I could listen to him talk all day and not be annoyed by the sound of it and he doesn't mind when I get too tired and I shift from regular speech to Deaf-speak.

I think that's what I like best about being married to my best friend - the conversations we have. Not to mention the fact that I'm allowed to still be me. Yes, he's asked me to broaden my horizon, to take on new challenges, try new things, revisit some old things I'd left behind and most of all - to relearn how to trust those nearest to me.

While it may sting some of my family who may read this; the fact is, I lived with a degree (sometimes small and sometimes LARGE) of fear - every day - from waking until passing out in exhaustion, until I moved to Bryan, Tx in the fall of 06. Growing up, most kids find safety and comfort in being in their room -being in my room, in my own bed, was never a promise of safety. Fear of it being a bad day and that every little thing would be wrong or just not good enough. Fear of the next hit - because I'd pissed someone off or another just hurt so bad, they had to get it out somehow. Fear of being touched, because I never knew if it was going to stay platonic or warp into something very wrong.

Yet, through all that, I'm still a cuddle bug, I still adore hugs whenever I can get them. It's my own way of making new happy, non-traumatic memories. My point is that I don't live with that kind of fear anymore. It's not something I think about or have to worry about with Robert- he doesn't scare me.

I guess what I've learned in these short six months is that I'm finally safe and loved and that it's okay to disagree, compromise, cry and be happy.

So here is my conclusion - my 3 positive things and a negative in a positive light as it relates to being married 6 months.
1+. I'm married to my best friend
2+. I'm safe with him
3+. I'm happy with our life
-1+. It took us seven years to get to this point, but that means we have an AMAZING foundation to build up on.